Bienvenue. Willkommen. ‘Sup, bitches.

Hello, and welcome to BLAG. This is the first, and (hopefully) shittiest, post on this blog. Seriously, I’m only writing this to get the ball rolling.

OK, I’ll make the most of it and treat this P.O.S. post like it’s a thesis. What will this blog be about? Why’s it called “BLAG”? Who gives a shit what I think?

Let’s bang this out numerically:

1. What will this blog be about?
I don’t know yet.

2. Why’s it called “BLAG”?
Because “blog” sounds stupid.

3. Who gives a shit what you think?
That’s a stupid question. Stop ruining the Internet.

4. Why do you drink so much whenever you write things on the Internet? Isn’t that a bad idea?
That’s two questions; here’s two answers: Hemingway drank when he wrote. He also said shut up.

Alright, that’ll do. Brass tacks: SorryDave.wordpress.com, being the resounding success that everyone knows it was, spurred me to move my blogging “career” forward.

But as training wheels may so often become shackles for children (see upcoming post: How to Shackle ‘Smallies’ With Everyday Items), so too did SorryDave become … my shackle.

See, SorryDave was a lot like my shackle metaphor. While at first it made it easier for me to communicate, I ultimately became trapped in it. Growth became impossible, as I was forced to work within such narrow and dark confines. SorryDave had become my prison.

If blogging was the cattle industry, I had become veal.

Or, to put it less succinctly, if blogging was the sex industry, I had become a Filipino ladyboy, prostituting himself into a pigeonhole. You see, I was selling something that only a relative few could possibly be interested in. SorryDave basically appealed only to friends of Dave, just as ladyboys only appeal to weird old white businessmen from Europe.

I needed to broaden my horizons. And so here it is: a blog so broad it will probably fail. Fortunately, failure is something this particular ladyboy is quite familiar with …

To be continued!

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2 Responses to Bienvenue. Willkommen. ‘Sup, bitches.

  1. BrainiacJG says:

    Boring. Show some titties.

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