Sorry. Sorry, everyone.

Shit, OK.

Sorry blags. It’s been a while (again). Things got weird this month. Some people have cool news, like, “I just got my dream job!” or “___ and I are engaged!”

The rest of us have news that’s more like, “So, I found out the reason why my privies were hurting like a fucker is because I have a herniated bowel wailing on some nerve endings.” That’s just an example of a thing that happens to lots of normal people.

Other business and goings-on:

John Edwards just won his court case and got away with using campaign money to lie and say his bastard wasn’t his, which is fine, because the world isn’t fair and it’s important to get little reminders about that. That’s the silver lining there. Also, that kid is definitely going to see videos of Edwards denying it was his on national television when it gets older, but so what? My dad’s been lying about not being my biological father for as long as I’ve been making memories —  to my face! It builds character and shakes things up; get over it.

A reminder that is still a thing that exists, and I still give free, shit-rocking advice to any kind of person with any kind of problems (which is all of you).

A friend of mine exposed me to this article today. Apparently, DC Comics is giving roughly one million moms yet another reason to throw out all their kids’ comic books without their permission: Green Lantern is going to be gay.

“Don’t allow the gays to co-opt codpieces and masquerade masks!” says Christian moms group.

Ignoring that gay kids are a thing that exists, the loudest mom said, “Why do adult gay men need comic superheroes as role models?” before then saying a bunch of other terrible things and citing the Bible in order to feel OK about it.

As a moral relativist, and a guy who isn’t much interested in comic books, I don’t really care too much about this. But you’d think anti-gay people might do well to focus their antagonism on gays that don’t fucking have super powers (or who, you know, are real). Also, all superheroes are already clearly gay. No straight guy has abs that you can see through his clothes.

I think that’s gonna do it for now.



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