Announcing: Danny Explains

Hello, blags,

Every so often, a man faces the hard truth that he just doesn’t know everything there is to know. In all fairness to me, I hit pretty close to that mark on most occasions/topics, but sometimes I’m at a loss, usually when I can’t get a data signal.

Fortunately, a well-rounded man of wisdom and maturity opts to surround himself with a Social Cabinet of other brilliant minds to fill these gaps. Thus, it is with great pleasure that I announce good friend of the BLAG, German Danny, will be providing me/BLAG editorial staff/BLAGcorp/whatever with little tidbits of knowledge that I will henceforth be sprinkling into various posts.

I like to think of these little tidbits as snowflakes. Yes, they are all unique and special in their own ways. But the snowflake metaphor goes further, to explain how they will likely be exploited by BLAG. Some may lightly dust pre-conceived BLAGscapes. Others may land upon a fresh sheet of untouched snow, and snowball down a hill, rolling faster and faster, increasing in size until they become something both magnificent and terrible, crushing all those WHO DARE STAND IN ITS PATH, PARTICULARLY MY ENEMIE–

Whoops! Got ahead of myself! Anyway, I’ve got important shit to do, like “watching sports,” so I’ll drop one of these snowflakes on your tongue. Read it while I get the hell out of here.

-BLAG

Why did Justin Timberlake think Facebook shares should launch at $38? Wasn’t that unwise?

This was actually explained in The Social Network. Jesse Eisenberg, played by Mark Zuckerberg did coke at an off-campus fraternity mixer. Shit got wild. Long story short, in Eisenberg’s drug-addled state, he jumped off the roof of a garage into a pool proclaiming “I’m on drugs!” JT met with the Winklevi shortly thereafter and determined this company a solid investment at $38. Important sidenote, Rashida Jones is hot.

Image

She sure is.

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