Erin Burnett = Chandler Riggs

Last night, I blew my own mind. Today, I spent the day picking up the pieces and carefully reassembling my mind.

I spent countless, grueling, soul-trying hours re-training myself to use simple objects. First, a straw, because I needed fluids. Then, slowly, I introduced more complicated tools, like crazy straws. Before I knew it, I had once again taught myself to use just a little bit of Adobe Photoshop. Just enough to put my mind-blowing realization to digital paper:

Shhhhh. Sh-sh-shh. Don't say anything. Just look upon it.

Shhhhh. Sh-sh-shh. Don’t say anything. Just look at it.

If you’re a fan of TV entertainment outlets AMC and CNN, then you’re probably familiar with the above person. It’s child-boy-actor Chandler Riggs and adult-lady-news-actor Erin Burnett. They are collectively the star of zombie-themed serial drama The Walking Dead, and anchor for Erin Burnett OutFront, a news program that is occasionally less believable than the zombie show.

They’re clearly the same person, right? Same hair, same T-zone. Same boyish neck. Both also occasionally exhibit conservative philosophical leanings on their respective programs. Hard to tell from the picture, but they also have very similar voices. And you know what? I’ve never seen them in the same room together. I defy you to prove that they aren’t the same person. The burden of disproof is on you.

Chicken or the egg time: which is the real person, and which the alter ego? Hard to say, and I’m wary of pulling a Richard Gere and getting it backwards. With that Primal Fear reference in mind, I am going to air on the side of caution and assume that Erin Burnett was really Chandler Riggs, the whole time. I mean, come on, “Erin.” I know hair extensions and balled-up socks in a shirt when I see them. There’s no way you’re a real lady, and not a young boy in drag. I’m calling a spade a spade on this one: Erin Burnett = Chandler Riggs.


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4 Responses to Erin Burnett = Chandler Riggs

  1. Andrew says:

    Ha! It’s the little things in life.

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